So you have a Toddler

Don't Panic! Laugh First Clean Later

So we are working on our vibration, our energy, our alignment, but we have a toddler, and wow can that alone make life a bit more interesting. I know we all have our days when nothing can go wrong, even when it is. but what about those days when there are tantrums and crying. You might have been in a wonderful mood, and then turn the corner to see powder, sugar, our flour all over your floor. Your child proudly displaying his creation for you. What is a mother and father to do AND stay in alignment?

  I want to share some tips with you, I do not claim to be an expert and have no formal schooling or training. I have 10 years as a nanny, 2 years as a mother, 7 years as an Aunt and a huge family for which I was the main babysitter. There are some things I have noticed with all the years of working with children. First and foremost they want LOVE, which can come in forms of approval, but I have noticed they will even take punishment if it gets them what they are really looking for, your attention! Often when I find my son behaving in a manner that I would rather change, I take a moment to think of how much undivided attention did I give him so far today? Usually if I sit down and play a short game, read a book or sing a song with him, his mood lifts and he can go back to being the happy, jumping little boy I love. Sometimes it is more then just a need for attention, he may be ready for a nap, hungry, thirsty or sick. Now some may say that is common sense but that isn't always the case, not all of us grew up with children and not everyone knows what these meltdowns may be caused by. 

My son has a second type of meltdown that is not due to lack of attention, it is due to him wanting something he can not have. I find that he will start to cry our throw a tantrum and for a while I as baffled at how to handle this and still feel good about it. Time out was my first option but it made us both feel sad. So I started to ask him (even when I already knew) what he wanted. I would ask him to use his words, and before he knew many words I would ask him to point or bring me to what he wanted. Often his tantrum was due to not knowing how to say what he wanted and sometimes he has no idea what he wants. I did notice right away that when he didn't know what he wanted, my asking for words stopped his crying in it's track. When he realized he didn't know what he wanted it was like as if he was now perfectly fine. He would find a toy or grab a book and just go back to having fun. If he actually did want something, often it was something he could have anyway and so that would end the crying. On the occasion that the thing he wanted he could not have I would redirect him immediately to something similar and if nothing similar was available for his request I would pick something he loved and go in that direction I find 9.5 out of 10 times this method of dealing with a tantrum works. 

In coming weeks I will add many more toddler blogs, from my experiences and please feel free to write in with specific questions, leave comments if you try this, let us know how it works for you!

 ~ Love the Process